Why you should be single

Ok let’s face the facts first, except you are an abnormal human being or you have some sexual disorder or maybe you are naturally created to be “unique”, we all need a partner, that someone in our lives that we trust, love and care for in a romantic way. Like they say beside (or is it behind) every successful man is a woman. Most people psychologically tend to feel and believe that they cannot live without a man or a woman in their lives which of course is somewhat true. But I am of a slightly different opinion and am going to try and convince you to be on my side, well am certainly not saying that I don’t need that someone in my life nor am I trying to prove that you don’t need a partner either, of course we do.

I was recently asked by a “concerned” friend about what are my reasons for being single? I jokily responded by telling her that all the gurls aren’t attracted to a guy like me (I hope it doesn’t turn out to be true ….), she was however of the opinion that it has to be my fault, she taught I was smart, handsome, ambitious and all the flattering words you can think of. For a minute I thought she was right but of course didn’t let the flattering get into my head.

Yeah I am single, so should you be, committed to no one in particular, able to hang around and have as much fun as I want to, and able to sleep until noon with no one underfoot to tell me to do otherwise. It’s a great life and why shouldn’t it be?

Fortunately for most of us, these days there is no real social pressure to be in a relation, plan to get married or even get married. I have also found out like most of us have the moment I set my foot in the university that one can easily get laid without saying the “fatihah” or “I do”, Alhamdulillah I still haven’t fallen into the temptation trap. This is the world I have found myself in and most people now wait until much later in life to tie the knot, but so what?

Still, that nagging question keeps popping into my head. Do I need a girlfriend? Should I ransom my freedom? Should I embark on the great search for my soul mate and willingly kiss my single days goodbye forever?

While I am still yet to answer these questions and only I can answer them, here are a few reasons why I am still single (at least for the time being) and why you should break up with that idiot you call a bf or that nagging b***h you call a gf and enjoy your freedom.

If you most know……….

• I am taking my time to find the right gurl

Perhaps the most important reason to me for staying single is that I can afford to wait for the true soul mate (that’s if one even exist) to pop into the scene. I am taking my time to casually and gracefully wade through the barracuda-infested waters of the dating pool and confidently set my hook for the prize catch.

In other words, by holding out for Miss Right (instead of Miss Always Right or Miss Right Now), I am trying to avoid the mistake of a lifetime and be in a relationship for love -- and not out of desperation like most folks are. (I know at least five people that are in desperate relationship at the moment, trust me, they always confide in me when things go wrong).

It’s sad to say, but I have seen so many gurls get hitched for the wrong reasons, like they’ve reached a certain age sometimes as young as just 17, all their friends are in one relationship or the other, some even married, these poor gurls have been unsuccessful at the “art of dating” and this stupid guy shows up first......., BOOM! She is interested, only to bite her finger later in regret.
Fortunately for me, this reason for staying single allows me to take my time and play the singles dating game (yeah of course there is a singles dating game), and increase my odds of beating the heart break statistics. Maybe you should also take a minute and consider this too.

Next……

• My cherished freedom of doing what I want, when and how I want it done.

I feel like the world is my oyster (so should you), I can pick up a crazy idea to do what I want or go where I want at anytime or day without a second opinion that has to be taken as the first and important one (if you get what I mean). It’s also cool to not have anyone around to nag at me to do this or that, or worst still to go shopping, (I really don’t have any problem with spending, but I rather go buying than “shopping”).
I am absolutely free to hang out with my buddies, play with my cat (and she is really adorable), read as much and write what I want to. I have plenty of time for my personal interest and hobbies. And best of all is I have the luxury of being all by myself.

Moving on…….

• I get to focus more on my dreams and ambitions

My important reason for staying single at the moment is that I get to enjoy the opportunity of building and actualising my dreams without getting drained by the tons of energy a relationship entails, maybe you should also consider this, instead of the few hours or minutes you have to yourself now to plan your dreams and ambitions because she’s always there, if not physically but electronically there (which is even more annoying by the way) think of the tones of time you would have had if he or she wasn’t in your life. I remain free to put in long hours to write, do my research on weekends or do whatever else I have to do to be productive or at least feel contend. Again I get to be as much obsessed with my passion in politics, writing and money making as I can which I doubt would be possible with someone around my neck.

Am still not done……

• Opportunity and ability to build and accumulate wealth.

Staying single means a lot, it means I am not forced into buying those expensive accessories, perfumes, jewelleries, compulsory gifts etc...(So that my gf can impress her friends with the huge price tags), or any of the other bloodsucking financial drains that relationships entails. (Now take a minute and calculate how much money u’v spent that could have been used for something more worthwhile on that retarded moron you call a bf or that gurl u call a gf that u can’t even show off to ur parents )

Plus I don’t have to restock her shoe collection or wad rope with more and more and more……cloths that gf’s demand (at least not for now). Come to think of it, relationships are like purchasing a car and having to pay for fuelling, maintenance, road tax and all the expenses you can possibly think of.

By staying single, I am not legally, socially or psychologically obligated to anyone but myself. (I sound like a selfish moron don’t I?). But let’s face it; once you agree to go into that relationship or even think of saying “I do”, she has you by the balls forever manh! Guys and gurls, reason with me for a second, those of you that are deceiving yourself being in that miserable relationship or marriage, think of the money that instead of letting her/ him dictate to you how and when to spend, use it and invest in that all important singles cruises or that wild night out (for those that are on the wild side of life), or maybe investing to buy that cool outfit, car or even a house; that’s if you’re a made man/ woman.

I bet you get my point, moving on……..

• Being single gives me the opportunity to enjoy serenity

I love peace and quiet, maybe that’s why I get along well with my cat more than some human beings. When you don’t live with a woman or a man, you are not subjected to that never-ending mood swings and emotional storms. For me I don’t have anyone blaming me for everything that she screws up in her life, and of course no fights. But if you “really” want to have a guy or gurls around depending on what your sexual orientation is (by the way am not here to teach morality today, I will discuss that some other day, I assume we all know the right things to do and should be guided by our religion and moral conscience), as long as you keep it causal, if he/she get too uppity, simply walk away free and clear. (Trust me, it’s that simple).

Just a minute, am almost done……..

• When your single, you don’t have to compromise

If there is anything that retards success and progress, then it has to be compromises especially those unnecessary compromises. Being single means I don’t have to constantly find a “middle ground”—meaning doing what she wants me to do whether I like it or not (in most cases we don’t even like it). This include being forced to go to the mall and spend 5 hours only to come out with a few shopping bags (mind you that’s what I call “shopping”, it’s definitely not buying where you go straight to the shop and straight to the point) or suffer the torture of having dinner with her friends and not being allowed to “admire” or “appreciate” one of them, worst still, you can’t even get their numbers.

Ok people, let me be serious, while marriages and relationships do certainly provide certain benefits and am not totally oppose to it, am not even oppose to it as long as you are happy. Being single keeps the door open for many options and opportunities in your life (see it like being in the real world and not his or her world), However my advice is this; there isn’t anything fantastic with being in a relationship most of the time, it’s mostly a miserable life people put themselves through, it’s just kallon ki tsan rogo ne (a mirage). Similarly don’t kill yourself or destroy your precious life simply because you want to fit in, or you want to do it because everyone else is doing it, worst still don’t kill yourself because you found out that he or she is cheating on you, SHIT HAPPENS, get over it, that’s life, move on, there is a great life out there for you without that fool you call a partner. And for those that are still single and living a fantastic life, my advice to you is this; your freedom is more important than anything, so never surrender it lightly or without a fight, even if you think you have met the right person of your dreams.

So guys/gurls think twice (maybe three times) before you say YES (or however it is you accept him/her as a partner in a relationship). If you are still not sure about it however, here’s one last piece of advice from me, take charge of your life, and make the best out of it…….

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