Desperate Woman=Undateable Women

A close friend of mine recently had some crises with his girl friend that I very much admire and decided to date her friend for a while to “teach his girl a lesson”. Like I said I quite admire his girl friend and the idea of him dating someone else sounded like a good one to me and a stupid one on his part. He told me about the “new” girl with much excitement as he was speaking but I found a familiar pattern in the girl he was describing to me and I instantly categorized her as an “undateable” girl. I advised him to go for someone else as this “new” girl is simply desperate and undateable or better still try to sort things out with his girl friend. He asked me to explain to him why I said his new target is a desperate and undateable girl which of course I did and also promised him that I will write an article on desperate women, (not desperate housewives yet) to share with other people.
The desperate woman as the word desperate suggest is characteristically a woman unable to keep her cool and wait for her man, thus makes frantic efforts to prey on men who are unaware of her desperation. She is also unable to keep a man committed, and she turns men off with her frantic desire for a serious commitment. Sound like anyone you know? I bet it does.
There are thus many signs that suggest a woman or a girl (whichever way that suits you) is desperate. I'm sure after you finish reading this you will find out that even your girlfriend well maybe boyfriend is a desperate partner. It is rather impossible to maintain a healthy relationship with a desperate woman, which makes them undateable. Usually her urge for a serious and committed relationship coupled with her self-imposed deadlines—such the need to get married or the need to get you to commit into the relationship—eliminates any hope for a normal relationship. I have compiled a list of signs she might show to prove that she is desperate and undateable, this article is however not intended to hurt anyone or aimed at anyone in particular neither is it to discourage or insult the judgement of my good friend as he tries to fly free into a new nest. Below are some of the signs I have compiled of a desperate and undateable woman from experience and several other source of information.

-A woman that is almost always in one relationship or the other;

Just like a man, you can tell a lot about a woman from her relationship history and a long history isn’t usually that interesting to hear about. A desperate woman’s past is usually one continuous series of relationships. She is usually never single for long because she can’t stand being single. In addition to this, each one of her former boyfriend is very different from the other. A relationship history like this is a warning bell, you should move on in your search if a woman doesn’t seem to have any particular type; it only indicates that this woman is not interested in looking for that certain someone so much as she’s looking for that certain anyone. My advice is that if you smell a rat and suspect something fishy find out about her relationship history either from her or from mutual acquaintances so as not to fall for her never ending traps.

-She's too organized, maybe a micro manager

There is definitely nothing wrong with being organized but when a woman has everything planned: this weekend, next weekend, the color of her future bridesmaids’ dresses, the names of her hypothetical children, everything planned to detail, then of course she might be a desperate one. A desperate woman has excessively detailed plans, and if you are foolish enough not to see that, she will soon incorporate you into those plans with alarming speed. Have you ever met a woman who two weeks after you have met her she's already saying: "I love you and I can’t live without you". After three dates, she wants you to meet all her friends and maybe her parents. The desperate woman is usually on a time line and, as a result, she tries to impose a serious commitment prematurely, acting as if the two of you have been together for years, even if you've only been on a couple of dates.

Certainly this kind of women are undateable, well maybe it’s just a coincidence that I have a cat and am single, then again, maybe it’s not. Sometimes pets indicate desperation. Make no mistake, I am not out to accuse pet lovers of social desperation and there is no reason to freak out just because your girl friend or boy friend has a pet or two. The key of course is to watch their interactions with the pets. An obsessive behavior might indicate a desperate need for affection, the question you should be asking yourself is; are her pets substitute for people? (Well I guess mine is :-)) Take my advice: The first time she refers to her pets as "children," leave the room immediately she is desperate.


-She's an excessive pushover

At the beginning of things, it might seem cool; she wants whatever you want. She thinks whatever you think; you have the same idols and role models etc. Soon though, you'll realize that she's just playing at compatibility in an attempt to deceive and convince either you or herself that the two of you are meant to be together. Trust me, while it might seem cool for a week or two, you don't really want to date someone without opinions, without interests and without an identity. A perfect example is like…………….ok let’s not go into that, I promised at the beginning not to mention names or refer to anyone so I guess I better keep to my words before someone sue me for inflammatory remarks.
So now maybe unfortunately for you, you are in a relationship with a desperate woman. You foolishly thought all that obsessive, clingy, panicky behavior was just part of the charm right? What a fool, but don’t worry, it’s certainly isn’t too late, of course I won’t write on signs without giving my own opinion on how to separate yourself from that undateable woman of the desperate specie.

First things first, suck it up and break it off. Don't bother yourself manufacturing an excuse. Just politely tell her you're not ready for a serious commitment and apologize for being in the relationship in the first place. Well you know how girls are; she might try to play around with your emotions by yelling, and crying telling you how much she loves you and all that. She might plead and beg you to stay. However, you have to be tough and be a man by take a firm position, a straight face and an upright posture might help if you feel weakened. But don’t forget that these are all signs that you're making the right decision and also remember that she's desperate.
Now after this what’s next? Am sure you will ask. Well the next step is what I’d like to call damage control. See your break up like that of two powerful nations, say Russia and US. As soon as all diplomatic relations have been ended (the relationship in your own case), employ your propaganda machinery sort of your CNN and start circulating your version of the story, don’t give her any breathing space or she will get back at you were it will hurt you the most. Get in touch with your mutual friends (your United Kingdom, it certainly will help even more if you have a Tony Blair in charge) and use your initial contacts to set up future plans. A desperate woman is like a wounded lioness she can’t hunt, she needs the pack to survive and thus will try to attach herself to your social circle, using your friends to get back at you or together with you. Of course you will want your people to form a barricade not a bridge, so I’ll leave you to take over from here.
On a final piece of advice, you should understand that a desperate woman will remain desperate even after you’ve broken up, that’s for sure! Their pattern of action is to try and contact you and will likely want you to get back together. Remember this is a woman who specialise in neediness. That’s why you need to cut off all contacts, forget about being nice and diplomatic, it won’t help you here. Just go cold turkey. Avoid taking her calls and make sure you don’t see her at least for a while. She’s proven herself to be clingy; don’t give her a chance to cling. Got it? Good! Now go find yourself a nice girl that is right for you.
Now like I told my good friend, whether that girl is a desperado or not, I don’t really know and certainly not in any position to say nor am I here to judge, BUT definitely a girl or woman that exhibits the sign I have just mention is not normal. Well of course you can also relate it to the guys. Maybe I should write about the desperate man. How does that sound?

= = = I dedicate this article to my close friend and business partner, C-boy for his confidence in soul searching and quest in avoiding the desperate woman. = = =